i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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