Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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