FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
