you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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