He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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