its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
