I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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