It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
