This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
