..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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