Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
There's always time for handjobs
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
