Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
