Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
