he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
