he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize