oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
