we're chasing vodka with high fives
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
