New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
