so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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