You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
