So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
