I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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