...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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