It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The best revenge is premature balding
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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