i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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