the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
