Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
PANTIES FOUND
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
