Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
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sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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