I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
