I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
