She said her name was "party"
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
God, I missed his penis.
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