did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
