stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
