I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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