who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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