Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
