what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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