If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
