i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
