When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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