I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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