Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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