It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
