found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
