i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
where are you?
Hypothermia
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
