Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
