So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
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Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
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Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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