It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
