checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
vagina is talking i cant
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I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
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Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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