we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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