you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
