Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
