Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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