What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
