my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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