If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
