hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We need a shit load of segways right now
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize