There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize