Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
