where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
