So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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