then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
