man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
