you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
