Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
