no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
