so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
