yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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